Goals and Resolutions

Whilst browsing through Lauren Conrad's blog, I came across her list of New Year's Resolution. I think it's such a fun and good idea so I want to do the same thing. It will be nice to come back this time next year, 2015 to see what I've accomplished! Feel free to do this too :)

A bad habit I’m going to break:
Procrastinate!

A destination I’d like to visit:
A new province in Canada that I've never been to.

I’m going to work harder at:
Doing cardio. That includes: sweating, getting my heart rate up, exercising.

A project I’d like to finish:
Get back in shape (in my ballet/dancing days).

A class I’d like to take:
Pilates.

I’d like to spend more time doing:
Outdoor activities.

A food I want to eat more of:
Raw food (fruits and veggies)

I want to wear more:
High heels. I own so many but I never ever wear them.

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Until next time,

from Film with love xx

The "F" word

Hello, hello! Today I want to do a blog post on the "F" word. Not that F word. This F word: Fitness. I know, I know .. 8 out of 10 times when I see a blog post about fitness I'm either skipping over or rolling my eyes. "Being fit" is such a hype in 2013 (don't know why ... ) and you see "fitspo" and constant talk of "eat clean, train dirty", "look like a beauty, train like a beast" and all that jazz everywhere. Like I mean, everywhere. Tumblr, Instagram, ... you name it.

BUT, as part of my new year resolution, "SWEAT EVERYDAY, AT LEAST 30 MINUTES A DAY" I have decided that it's finally time for me to get off my ass and do something about my body. So that means that I, Film, am jumping on the Fitness bandwagon. But fear not my readers, I solemnly swear that I will never go crazy like all the fit advocates in 2013.

Summer 2012

Let's go back to 2008 when I first came to Canada ... Being not used to the rich and heavy food, it is no surprise that I gained weight. A lot of weight. I was the heaviest and the biggest I've ever been. I am 165 cm, or 5'5". I weighed around 50 kg (110 pounds) before Canada. After a year, I was around 60 kg (132 lbs)! It was insane. I had no self control and I HATED exercising. I went back to Thailand the summer of 2011 where I lost some weight and I was around 56 kg (123 lbs). I came back to Canada and I managed to maintain my weight (didn't lose and didn't gain any) in my senior year of high school.

In 2010, I started my first year of university. I think I was around 55 kg at that time (121 lbs). Last summer after my second year of university, I went home to Thailand and managed to lose some weight. We were traveling around for a bit on vacation so there were a lot of walking and hiking. I weighed around 52-53 kg (115 lbs) but as soon as I came back to Canada once again, my weight went up. I haven't weigh myself since that summer of 2012 so I have no idea what I weigh now. But from looking in the mirror and how my clothes feel on me, I feel like I'm back to around 125 lbs.

From 2008 until today, I couldn't get back to my initial weight and back into shape. I was a hardcore dancer - I danced for 16 years. I was in shape. Ever since I came to Canada I stopped dancing. I stopped exercising all together. I was never one to go to the gym and run on the treadmill. I hated that. I even signed up for a year membership (I went a total of 10 times max). I canceled the membership after the year mark is up and then a couple of years later I joined again. And then I canceled again. I was never motivated enough to push myself to go regularly.

At this point in my life, I'm not looking to go back to my initial 110 pounds. I was 16 years old then. But I am 21 years old today, and I've been very unhappy with myself for a long time. Too long, in fact. I know that the biggest part of my unhappiness is how I feel when I look at myself in the mirror. Not only that, I am unhappy mentally. Not loving my body and not liking how I feel really hurt my self confidence.

So this year, 2014, I am finally doing it. After saying that "I'm going to do it" on and off for the past 5 years, I'm doing it now. Today, January 1st, marks the first day of my road to happiness. I will learn how to love my body again. I will learn how to love myself. I am fortunate enough to live in a building that has a fitness amenity. That means that I don't need to join a membership at a local gym. I have the convenience of easily walking down 2 flights of stairs from my room. Today I took advantage of that. I sweat for 30 minutes today. It was extremely difficult for me, mind you. I hate cardio and I hate running (I don't know how and I can't). But we all have to start somewhere (I walked on an incline today - didn't run or jog but it made me sweat) and you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be finding other ways to sweat it out for half an hour each day, everyday aside from running on the treadmill or going at it on the elliptical. I missed dancing so much so I will properly be dancing around in my room until I sweat for half an hour on some days when I really really don't feel like going downstairs to the Fitness Room. I have some workout DVDs at home too, some have never even been touched after I bought it, so that will definitely be coming in handy for this journey I'm currently on.

I'm setting a short term goal for myself. It is going to be a big challenge for me and it's going to be really difficult. But I won't give up, not this time. I am going into this with a completely new mindset (in case you're curious, I'm telling me to workout everyday like it's my job and I'm getting paid to sweat 30 minutes a day. A bit extreme? Maybe, but I'm going with a trial-and-error process so if this mentality doesn't work out I'll find something else but for now this will do). My goal daily is to obviously push myself to workout and sweat for 30 minutes. My short term goal is to be consistent for the next 6 weeks. After I conquer these 6 weeks I will be forming a habit so these workout will become my daily routine which will turn into a lifestyle. You know that quote that says "It takes 4 weeks for you to see your body changing. It takes 8 weeks for friends and family and it takes 12 weeks for the rest of the world."? This is going to be my reminder. I follow numerous accounts on instagram that are my fitness inspiration. My deadline will be my graduation in May.

If there are any of you out there who are having a really hard time like me, sticking to working out consistently, having no motivation to actually get up and move about, or the king and queen procrastinators out there who are constantly pushing to workout "later", don't worry. I know how you feel 100% because we are on the same boat! I know that somedays (like tomorrow, because right now I feel like as if my energy is completely drained and I just want to go to bed even though it's only 8 PM and my body is going to be screaming in protest tomorrow when I wake up from it's unfamiliar soreness) I will be needing double the motivation and double the strength to continue my journey on. My bed and my couch will be extra inviting and teasing tomorrow but I will not be weak. I will be strong. Hopefully this post will inspire some of you who are struggling to want to make a new change and turn your life around along with me. We can do it together. You can be my motivator and I can be yours? If you have any tips for me as I begin this fitness journey, please feel free to leave suggestions and your comments down below. Thank you so much for taking time to read this and thank you for your kind comments :) Let's do this!

Until next time, from Film with love,
xx

Goodbye 2013

As 2013 is coming to an end, I wanted to start a series that I can do every single year. I like to analyze myself, reflect, and look back to this year and see how far I've come and what I've accomplished internally. Next year, I will come back to this post and see if I have changed into a better me or stayed the same. You will be surprised by how much you can change in a year! (Like how much I hated the movie Elf last year and this year I've seen it about 7 times from November to December and it's officially my all-time favourite christmas movie (next to the Home Alone series and the Santa Claus series, duh). LOL who would have guess? If you told me this last xmas I would not have believed you! Life is so funny that way.) There are many many things I don't like about myself that I'd like to change because I know that once I do I will be much happier. Realizing what you want to change in yourself is the first step towards reaching your goal and being where you want to be, don't you think? :) So without further ado, here are somethings that identify me as me in 2013:

In 2013, I am ...

- lazy (hello, nice to meet you. I am Queen Procrastination!)

- sometimes selfish

- mostly impatient

- sometimes too uptight

- inconsistent

- sometimes a bit melodramatic

But also in 2013,

- Mike and I have become a lot closer as a couple. We are the happiest we've ever been in our 3 going on 4 years of our relationship.

- I've learned that if I really put my mind and work really really hard on something, I can do it. Not just that, I can do it REALLY, REALLY well. (hello, my first A+ in university!)

- I've learned to cook! Yes, no more cereals and instant oatmeals. I've actually spend quite some time in the kitchen this year - learning how to make different dishes. I'm so proud of myself haha if you knew me personally you'll know I don't even know how to boil eggs properly! This is such a milestone for me haha I am so excited :)

For the new year 2014,

- I would like to be more active in my life. Yes, I want to erase the word lazy permanently from my vocabulary. I will not procrastinate. I will be active in my academic career (starting my assignments early and NOT 2 days or a day before it is due!!! I am THE WORST for this.) I will also be active physically. No more procrastinating in working out ("I'll start going to the gym Monday." *missed Monday* "oh, I'll start NEXT Monday." STORY.OF.MY.LIFE.)

- I will not be selfish. I think this can be a hard one for some. People like to tell you to "put yourself first". That is true in a way, but sometimes you need to put other people's needs before your own. You need to be more considerate of other's feelings. We are all human and we are all equal. No one is better than another. We have to be more kind to each other. We have to be selfless.

- I need to have more patience. I need to understand that not everything is going to go at my pace (once again, linked to "selfishness"). I need to be more open and understanding :)

- I need to let loose more in my life! Sometimes I'm too serious and uptight. I need to relax and be silly and most importantly, I need to learn how to poke fun at myself and laugh along with whatever humour life brings!

- I have to be consistent. Being consistent leads to being hard working. I am going to be graduating this coming Spring and that means I will be going into the real world. The working, career-woman, big girl world. I need to learn how to be consistent with myself. This is difficult for me as there are plenty of times I've given up on things that I've started and never really finishing it because I've let my laziness or fear of failing get in the way.

- And lastly, to be less melodramatic. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes I like to blow things out of proportion, freak myself out and create problems that aren't there in the first place by simply thinking too much. I need to stop overthinking and putting thoughts inside my head. I need to stop freaking myself out for absolutely no reason.

So here are some of my final thoughts for this year 2013. Farewell, you have taught me a lot. Here I am, at the end of the year ... a 21 year old girl, who is still confuse about life and who she wants to be and what she wants to do after she graduate. But I am also a 21 year old girl, who is so blessed with an amazing family who constantly have my back and always believe in me. I can't wait for what 2014 will bring me. I can't wait for what 2014 will bring you! I hope you guys had a great 2013 and thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to read my blog :) You have found me for a reason and I hope that I can help you, whoever you are and wherever you are in the world, through my blog. Until next time,

from Film with love xx